About Me

My name is Michael Scott Schirtzer.

Yes like the character from the Office, no I wasn’t named after him.

I am a slam poet and standup comic.

I was born in Manhattan, NY in 1989 and moved to the west coast when I was a baby. I was raised in Los Angeles, California.

I hold the accomplished film credits of having played Jock #1 in a Warner Brother’s film “Funky Monkey” and an extra in both the Paris Hilton classic “Bottom’s Up” and what would eventually become a prophetic bio pic, Jamie Kennedy’s “Malibu’s Most Wanted.”

Moshe Kasher once described me as “Bill Hicksian…” and also said “I would fuck you right now.”

I sometimes write jokes for The Jimmy Dore Show on KPFK and The Young Turks Youtube network, and Joe Goes on Youtube.


Stand Up Comedy

For Booking and other general inquiries: mschirtz@gmail.com 




Jiu Jitsu

Nino Schembri BJJ (September 2014)
Nino Schembri BJJ (September 2014)

I am currently a purple-belt under Antonio (Nino) “Elvis” Schembri.

You can read about the trials and tribulations I went through in order to receive my blue belt here.